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Gustav
Rank: Private
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Subject: This is Commander Leonard speaking
Started on: September 30, 2005 - 3:08:46 PM
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“All right disciples, if you want to be like me, you’ll need to have some lessons. The first lesson is on how to scream properly. So scream like me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”. The disciples repeat the master: “iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”. “What the heck is this!?” shouts Leonard “You all look like horses neighing! How dare you reclaim to be my disciples!? I am going to dismiss you all!”. “Oh no, Lenny, please” cry the disciples “You know how miserable our life is without you. Snif…snif…”. “Why do I only get nerds for my disciples? Why can’t I get pretty girls like Marie and Nova?” grumbles Leonard. “Oh, Lenny” cry the disciples again “You are so unfair to us. You know we all love you”. “Very well disciples. This time I forgive you. But you’re going to be punished. You are going to massage my feet” “Oh, Lenny” say the disciples with a happy smile “You know that’s no punishment for us. Ih, ih, ih…”. Leonard lies down and his disciples remove his boots. A foul smell comes from his feet. “Oh darn” says Leonard “ I forgot to wash my feet again”. “Oh no, Lenny” protest the disciples, inhaling with pleasure the smell “this is perfume to us”. “Now I understand why I only get nerds for my disciples instead of pretty girls” thinks Leonard. Surrounded by so many nerds, Leonard starts to feel a headache and decides to call one of them to massage his head. “Hey you” he points to one of his disciples, but can’t remember his name “Darn” Leonard thinks “it’s hard to distinguish these nerds; they are all fat and bald like me”. The disciple shyly answers “Me?”. “Well, yeah, you. Come here massage my head”. The disciple, hardly believing that his master personally chose him, claps his hands with pleasure and says in a dreamy voice “With pleasure Lenny”. The disciple starts his massage “Cutie, cutie. Do you like it, Lenny?” “Yes, at least you’re useful for something” “Oh thank you Lenny, thank you!”. After the disciples finish the massage, Leonard gets up and tells them “Well disciples, today I forgive you, but if in the next lesson you make a miserable performance not worthy of me, you will be punished again”. “Oh yes, Lenny, yes, we are looking forward to it” say the disciples with a hopeful smile, dreaming with their next punishment. | |
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Press Attaché of Commander Leonard | | | |
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Zigfried
Rank: Corporal
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Subject: ...
Posted on: September 30, 2005 - 4:17:39 PM
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I started to read that, but then I saw it was just one big paragraph. So I stopped.
//Zig | |
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FOUNDER and HEART AND SOUL of the DOL (R.I.P.) | | | |
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Gustav
Rank: Private
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Subject: Reply
Posted on: September 30, 2005 - 4:37:48 PM
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To Zig
Well, I didn't know you couldn't read paragraphs with more than one sentence. Here, take another version of the text with more paragraphs.
“All right disciples, if you want to be like me, you’ll need to have some lessons. The first lesson is how to scream properly. So scream like me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”.
The disciples repeat the master: “iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”.
“What the heck is this!?” shouts Leonard “You all look like horses neighing! How dare you reclaim to be my disciples!? I am going to dismiss you all!”.
“Oh no, Lenny, please” cry the disciples “You know how miserable our life is without you. Snif…snif…”.
“Why do I only get nerds for my disciples? Why can’t I get pretty girls like Marie and Nova?” grumbles Leonard.
“Oh, Lenny” cry the disciples again “You are so unfair to us. You know we all love you”.
“Very well disciples. This time I forgive you. But you’re going to be punished. You are going to massage my feet”.
“Oh, Lenny” say the disciples with a happy smile “You know that’s no punishment for us. Ih, ih, ih…”.
Leonard lies down and his disciples remove his boots. A foul smell comes from his feet. “Oh darn” says Leonard “I forgot to wash my feet again”.
“Oh no, Lenny” protest the disciples, inhaling with pleasure the smell “this is perfume to us”.
“Now I understand why I only get nerds for my disciples instead of pretty girls” thinks Leonard. Surrounded by so many nerds, Leonard starts to feel a headache and decides to call one of them to massage his head. “Hey you” he points to one of his disciples but can’t remember his name “Darn” Leonard thinks “it’s hard to distinguish these nerds; they are all fat and bald like me”.
The disciple shyly answers “Me?”.
“Well, yeah, you. Come here massage my head”.
The disciple, hardly believing that his master personally chose him, claps his hands with pleasure and says in a dreamy voice “With pleasure Lenny”. The disciple starts his massage “Cutie, cutie. Do you like it, Lenny?” “Yes, at least you’re useful for something” “Oh thank you Lenny, thank you!”.
After the disciples finish the massage, Leonard gets up and tells them “Well disciples, today I forgive you, but if in the next lesson you make a miserable performance not worthy of me, you will be punished again”.
“Oh yes, Lenny, yes, we are looking forward to it” say the disciples with a hopeful smile, dreaming with their next punishment.
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Press Attaché of Commander Leonard | | | |
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Latell
Rank: Master Sergeant
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Subject: ...
Posted on: September 30, 2005 - 4:41:26 PM
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I started to read that, but there were no line breaks. So I stopped. | |
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"General Rolf, don't you think that it was your indecisiveness that brought this situation down upon us?" | | | |
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Gustav
Rank: Private
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Subject: Reply
Posted on: September 30, 2005 - 4:48:11 PM
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To Latell
Well Latell, I am starting to understand better Leonard’s problems with his disciples. Here take another version with line breaks. I wonder what will be your next problem. Leonard will certainly have a lot of nuisances with all of you.
“All right disciples, if you want to be like me, you’ll need to have some lessons. The first lesson is how to scream properly. So scream like me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”.
The disciples repeat the master: “iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”.
“What the heck is this!?” shouts Leonard “You all look like horses neighing! How dare you reclaim to be my disciples!? I am going to dismiss you all!”.
“Oh no, Lenny, please” cry the disciples “You know how miserable our life is without you. Snif…snif…”.
“Why do I only get nerds for my disciples? Why can’t I get pretty girls like Marie and Nova?” grumbles Leonard.
“Oh, Lenny” cry the disciples again “You are so unfair to us. You know we all love you”.
“Very well disciples. This time I forgive you. But you’re going to be punished. You are going to massage my feet”.
“Oh, Lenny” say the disciples with a happy smile “You know that’s no punishment for us. Ih, ih, ih…”.
Leonard lies down and his disciples remove his boots. A foul smell comes from his feet. “Oh darn” says Leonard “I forgot to wash my feet again”.
“Oh no, Lenny” protest the disciples, inhaling with pleasure the smell “this is perfume to us”.
“Now I understand why I only get nerds for my disciples instead of pretty girls” thinks Leonard.
Surrounded by so many nerds, Leonard starts to feel a headache and decides to call one of them to massage his head. “Hey you” he points to one of his disciples but can’t remember his name “Darn” Leonard thinks “it’s hard to distinguish these nerds; they are all fat and bald like me”.
The disciple shyly answers “Me?”.
“Well, yeah, you. Come here massage my head”.
The disciple, hardly believing that his master personally chose him, claps his hands with pleasure and says in a dreamy voice “With pleasure Lenny”. The disciple starts his massage “Cutie, cutie. Do you like it, Lenny?” “Yes, at least you’re useful for something” “Oh thank you Lenny, thank you!”.
After the disciples finish the massage, Leonard gets up and tells them “Well disciples, today I forgive you, but if in the next lesson you make a miserable performance not worthy of me, you will be punished again”.
“Oh yes, Lenny, yes, we are looking forward to it” say the disciples with a hopeful smile, dreaming with their next punishment.
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Press Attaché of Commander Leonard | | | |
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Zigfried
Rank: Corporal
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Subject: ...
Posted on: September 30, 2005 - 5:26:17 PM
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I was going to read that, but then I noticed missing punctuation. Please proofread it then post it again.
//Zig | |
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FOUNDER and HEART AND SOUL of the DOL (R.I.P.) | | | |
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Gustav
Rank: Private
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Subject: Reply
Posted on: September 30, 2005 - 5:37:17 PM
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To Zig
Well Zig, I didn’t know you have bad eyesight. I am afraid I can’t do much for you. But don’t worry, I won’t tell anything to Leonard. I wouldn’t want you to be expelled from the DOL. | |
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Press Attaché of Commander Leonard | | | |
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Zigfried
Rank: Corporal
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Subject: ...
Posted on: September 30, 2005 - 6:28:45 PM
Edited on: September 30, 2005 - 6:29:37 PM
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One's own failure to type properly shouldn't be blamed on others' eyesight. If you just re-type it without all the errors, I'll read it.
I didn't understand the rest of your last post, but that's probably because I didn't read your original post.
//Zig | |
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FOUNDER and HEART AND SOUL of the DOL (R.I.P.) | | | |
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Gustav
Rank: Private
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Subject: Reply
Posted on: October 1, 2005 - 4:30:23 AM
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To Zig
Come on, Zig. It’s no shame to admit that you have bad eyesight. I’ve been thinking well on your problem and I suggest you to get some nerd glasses. Not only they would help you to read, but they would also look great in your Leonard’s clone face. | |
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Press Attaché of Commander Leonard | | | |
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Seifrietti Weisse
Rank: Commander
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Subject: No....
Posted on: October 1, 2005 - 7:57:26 PM
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That was disturbing.  And I'm not even IN the DOL. Please don't post it again. Even with good puncutation. I am so dissappointed in the fact that there is no way to un-read something. | |
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Seifrietti Weisse (AKA Zor)(AKA Annie's Daddy)
www.robotechanthology.com | | | |
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Vermillion002
Rank: Master Chief Sgt
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Subject: ?? to Mods
Posted on: October 1, 2005 - 9:54:01 PM
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Mods isnt stereotyping a group of people with an insulting name (Nerd)or by their supposed physical characteristics ("fat and Bald") a TOU violation? | |
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"People sleep peacably in their beds at night, only because rough men stand ready to do great violence on their behalf" Wells | | | |
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radiotech101
Rank: Master Sergeant
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Subject: ...
Posted on: October 1, 2005 - 9:54:04 PM
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I'm actually glad I didn't... | |
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Semper Vigilans
MASTER STEEBU KNOWS ALL!
MM Triumverate!!
DARK HELMET of the Dark Fin /Tunasmith
Keeper of the Ancient Tuna of Chaos
RT.COM Birthday Sunshine Spreaders
IOU money? Contact AZORIC!
He said He'd pay! | | | |
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Gustav
Rank: Private
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Subject: Reply
Posted on: October 2, 2005 - 2:29:52 AM
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To Seifrietti Weisse
You belong to the USAF and you find this parody disturbing!? No wonder American forces are having trouble in Iraq. If I were you, I would join fast the DOL in order to learn with Commander Leonard how to be a real soldier.
To Vermillion002
Calling someone fat, bald and nerd is an insult? Do you have anything against fat, bald and nerd guys? Because if you do, you better remember that most of the human population is just like that. Besides, your User Icon indicates that you enjoy Max Sterling, who is, as everyone knows, the nerd of Macross Saga. You know, that skinny kid that is always playing computer games, while at the same time imagining that he is serving under Rick Hunter, destroying Zentraedi ships and marrying Miriya.
To radiotech101
“General Hospital News
Yesterday, a Robotech fan known as radiotech101, after reading a parody placed by Gustav in the Robotech Forum, spent so much time laughing that was unable to close his mouth again. He underwent an emergency surgery in order to put his maxilla back in place.”
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Press Attaché of Commander Leonard | | | |
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Vermillion002
Rank: Master Chief Sgt
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Subject: Gustav
Posted on: October 2, 2005 - 10:58:30 AM
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YOU are the one who used these terms as a negative stereotype. We will see if the mods agree when they come around. | |
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"People sleep peacably in their beds at night, only because rough men stand ready to do great violence on their behalf" Wells | | | |
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zentraedi_advisor
Rank: Corporal
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Subject: Enough!
Posted on: October 2, 2005 - 11:34:58 AM
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Please, enough! I'll tell you anything you want to know, just... don't post that again. I beg you. I didn't know this was anatomically possible, but it actually made my brain vomit.
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RT.COM FREAK
Supremely Cool RT.com Girl
ACE Public Relations Officer
Current de facto leader of the DOGS (Defenders of Gloval)
Barking mad | | | |
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Seifrietti Weisse
Rank: Commander
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Subject: Gustav...
Posted on: October 2, 2005 - 6:22:27 PM
Edited on: October 2, 2005 - 6:22:54 PM
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No thanks. I'm actually glad that as a member of the USAF, I do not have to masage any bald men's scalps. Regardless of rank.
As for having trouble in Iraq, I wasn't aware of any scalp/smelly feet masaging that needed to get done over there in order to end the insurgency. And if it's not getting done, well, I'm still not going to volunteer for it. If that's your thing though, go for it. | |
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Seifrietti Weisse (AKA Zor)(AKA Annie's Daddy)
www.robotechanthology.com | | | |
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wrecks123
Rank: Sergeant
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Subject: Wasn't it great?
Posted on: October 2, 2005 - 10:23:40 PM
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Wasn't it great when Leonard died at the end of the War? He went down in a blaze of porcine glory! | |
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Gustav
Rank: Private
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Subject: Reply
Posted on: October 4, 2005 - 1:51:13 PM
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To Seifrietti Weisse
If you didn’t like the parody, then why did you come back?
To Vermillion002
If you think this topic should be locked, then why did you come back?
To Zentraedi_advisor
Well, taking in consideration that seeing a couple humans kissing cost the Zentraedi 5 million ships and a war, certainly Leonard disciples's actions could only have caused you mental diarrhoea. Commander Leonard congratulates his disciples for their victory over the Zentraedi enemy.
To wrecks123
You’re right about Leonard. As his Press Attaché, you just can’t imagine the amazing quantity of nasty things that I see Leonard doing. The thing that impresses me more is the way he treats his disciples. The dedication of the latter to him is total, always willing to forgive his mistakes. Yet, do you know what Leonard calls them? DOLls. That’s right. DOLls. Well, I better get going before Leonard hears me speaking with you.
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Press Attaché of Commander Leonard | | | |
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zentraedi_advisor
Rank: Corporal
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Subject: Har-har
Posted on: October 4, 2005 - 3:11:12 PM
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Leonard's disciples didn't defeat the Zentraedi. A couple humans kissing did that, you said it yourself. Although seeing them massaging his feet would've probably done it too. 
Unfortunate Soldier: "Aarrgh! I'm bliiiind! I can't fire my weap--" *destroyed*
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RT.COM FREAK
Supremely Cool RT.com Girl
ACE Public Relations Officer
Current de facto leader of the DOGS (Defenders of Gloval)
Barking mad | | | |
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